Say it right.

#3 terms

• "Conversion therapy" Any sustained effort to modify someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression, based on the false premise that these are "disord… Bias & Phobia
• 420 The universal code for being cannabis-friendly. If you see this on a profile, it means they're probably down to burn one before, during, or after. It… Health & Safety
• 69 The classic yin-yang of oral pleasure. It’s the act of giving and receiving a BJ at the same time, a delicate balancing act of mutual satisfaction. S… Sex & Relationships

A41 terms

• Abandonment play Scenes involving emotional distance, neglect, or isolation. Psychologically intense; needs strong aftercare. Psychological
• Abduction play Roleplay scenario where one partner pretends to be kidnapped or forcibly taken, exploring fear, control, and helplessness in a consensual setting. Roleplay
• Abrasion play Involves controlled scratching, scraping, or rough contact with skin to provoke sensation. Often paired with sensation play or pain play. Sensation
• Abrosexual Describes a sexuality that is fluid and changes over time. One week you might be a lesbian, the next you might be asexual, the next pansexual. Identity & Community
• ACE Short for asexual. An identity for someone who feels little to no sexual attraction. It's a whole spectrum, not just a switch that's flipped 'off'. I… Identity & Community
• Aceflux An orientation where your position on the asexual spectrum fluctuates. Some days you might feel completely asexual, other days more demisexual or gra… Identity & Community
• ACT-UP AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power. Not just some historical footnote; these are the activists who literally fought for their lives during the AIDS cris… Identity & Community
• Adult Baby Someone who roleplays as an infant within age play. It may involve bottles, cribs, or nurturing scenes. Kink & BDSM
• Aegosexual A subset of asexuality where a person can enjoy the idea of sex, consuming erotic content, or having fantasies, but feels a total disconnect from bei… Identity & Community
• AFAB A clinical, yet necessary, term to describe the sex you were labeled with when you were born. It's a crucial piece of language in trans and Non-Binar… Identity & Community
• Aftercare The vital "cool-down" period after intense sex or a BDSM scene. It's about checking in, cuddling, talking, and ensuring all partners feel safe and ca… Relationships & Intimacy
• Age play Roleplay involving different age dynamics, such as caregiver/little or teacher/student. Often includes behavioral or dress elements. Roleplay
• Ageplayer Ageplayers slip into roles younger or older than themselves, exploring safety, play, or authority in symbolic ways. Roleplay
• AIDS Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. This is what happens when HIV goes untreated and wrecks your immune system. Thanks to decades of activism (ACT-U… Health & Safety
• AKA Also Known As. In the digital wilderness of dating apps, this is your cue that someone's got an alter ego. Maybe it's their drag name, their online h… Slang & Culture
• Alpha A leader role often borrowed from pop-culture hierarchies. The confident top of the social or power-dynamic ladder. Kink & BDSM
• AMAB The counterpart to AFAB, this is the label slapped on you at birth based on your genitals. For trans women, Non-Binary folks, and anyone who doesn't… Identity & Community
• Anal Chastity A form of chastity or "denial" play. It involves a device, often a metal plug or "belt," that is locked in place to prevent any anal insertion. It's… Gear & Wearables
• Anal fisting Involves inserting an entire hand into the anus with deep trust and preparation. Associated with extreme sensation and endurance. Penetration
• Anal Hooks A type of BDSM toy, typically made of metal, shaped like a hook. It is inserted anally and can be used for sensation, stretching, or as an attachment… Extreme & Edge Play
• Anal Sex The act of inserting a penis, strap-on, or dildo into a partner's anus. Because this involves sensitive tissue, it requires enthusiastic consent, rel… Sex & Anatomy
• Anal Stretching The practice of using gradually larger, body-safe toys (like a set of butt plugs or dilators) to train the anal sphincter to relax and "stretch." Thi… Practices & Activities
• Anal Toys Any body-safe toy designed for anal play. This includes butt plugs (for short or long-term wear), anal beads, and dildos. Must have a flared base to… Gear & Wearables
• Anal training Progressive use of toys or practices to increase anal comfort or openness. Can be erotic, meditative, or symbolic. Sexual
• Androsexual Describes attraction to men, masculinity, or male anatomy, regardless of whether the person you're attracted to identifies as a man. Identity & Community
• Animal roleplay Participants act as animals (e.g. puppy, pony, cat), often using gear like masks, tails, or paws. Centers on altered behavior and communication. Roleplay
• Animal training Obedience and behavior modeling based on animal metaphors — often used in pet or pup play. Power exchange
• Anonymous Play A sexual encounter where partners do not exchange names or identifying information. This is common in bathhouses, backrooms, or at glory holes. Conse… Practices & Activities
• Armbinders A piece of bondage gear, often made of leather, that straps the wearer's arms together behind their back, forcing an "elbows-touching" posture. It's… Gear & Wearables
• Armpit Fetish A fetish focused on the armpits, which may include kissing, licking, or an appreciation of natural scent. This requires open discussion about persona… Fetish & Focus
• Armpit worship Licking, sniffing, or admiring pits. Mixes scent, masculinity, and vulnerability. Body play
• Armpits (Fetish) A fetish focused on the armpits, which may include kissing, licking, or an appreciation of natural scent. This requires open discussion about persona… Fetish & Focus
• ASAP As Soon As Possible. The universal signal for urgency, especially on hookup apps. When someone says they're looking ASAP, they mean they want you in… Slang & Culture
• Asexual Someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction to anyone. It is a spectrum (Ace-spec) that includes identities like demisexual and graysexual. Identity & Community
• ASL Age, Sex, Location. The holy trinity of old-school internet cruising. Before Grindr profiles laid it all out, you had to ask. It’s the quick and dirt… Slang & Culture
• Ass Play An umbrella term for any activity focused on the anus or buttocks. This includes rimming (oral), anal sex (penetration), prostate play, spanking, or… Sex & Anatomy
• Ass to Mouth (ATM) A sexual act, common in pornography, where a penis or toy is pulled from an anus and put directly into a partner's mouth. This is an advanced fetish. Extreme & Edge Play
• Ass worship Focus on admiration and attention to the buttocks — includes kissing, licking, spanking, or verbal praise. Body focus
• Authority transfer Voluntary shift of decision-making from one person to another. Foundational to many D/s relationships. Power exchange
• Automatic co-parent recognition Covers when children born to same-sex couples are recognised legally from birth as the children of both parents, without extra barriers or procedures. Legal & Rights
• Autosexual You are your own primary object of affection and sexual desire. It's more than just enjoying masturbation; it's a genuine preference for oneself over… Identity & Community

B51 terms

• B&D Bondage and Discipline. A slice of the BDSM pie that focuses on restraint and rules. It's a milder entry point for many, more about the psychological… Kink & BDSM
• Babyfur A niche crossover between the furry and AB/DL communities, involving roleplay as anthropomorphic baby animals. Kink & BDSM
• Ball busting Striking, squeezing, or tormenting testicles — extreme form of pain play and submission. Sensation
• Ball Gag A common type of gag consisting of a rubber or silicone ball, held in place by a strap. It forcibly keeps the mouth open and prevents clear speech. I… Gear & Wearables
• Ball Kicking / Ballbusting A form of CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) that involves consensual impact (kicking, slapping, punching) to the testicles. It is a high-pain, high-sensati… Extreme & Edge Play
• Ball Stretching A practice, often done over long periods, of using "ball stretchers" (metal or leather rings) to gradually lengthen the scrotum. This is a form of li… Practices & Activities
• Ball torture (CBT) Intentional stimulation or pain applied to the testicles. Can include squeezing, impact, weight, or bondage. Pain play
• Barefoot (Fetish) A component of foot fetish, this is a specific attraction to the sight or feel of bare feet, as opposed to feet in socks or shoes. Fetish & Focus
• Bastinado Also known as "foot caning." A form of corporal punishment where the soles of the feet are struck, typically with a cane. The feet are extremely sens… Extreme & Edge Play
• BB Bareback. Sex without a condom. It's a high-stakes game that carries significant risk for STIs like HIV. For some, it's about intimacy; for others, i… Health & Safety
• BBC Big Black Cock. A term that's both a descriptor and a heavily loaded fetish category in porn and online. It often comes with a whole suite of racial… Sex & Relationships
• BDSM The big, scary-sounding acronym that’s really just a catch-all for a whole universe of kink. It stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submissi… Kink & BDSM
• Bear Rugged, confident men who embrace size, body hair, and warmth. Bears embody relaxed masculinity and a grounded sensuality. Identity & Community
• Begging Psychological tool where one partner must plead or request something. Evokes vulnerability and control. Verbal
• Beta A supportive and steady second-in-command. Loyal, balanced, and strong without needing the spotlight. Kink & BDSM
• BI Bisexual. Attracted to more than one gender. No, they're not just 'confused' or 'greedy'. Bisexuality is a valid identity that often gets erased or m… Identity & Community
• Bicurious For someone, usually identifying as straight, who is curious about dipping a toe into the queer dating or sex pool. It can be a genuine step in a jou… Identity & Community
• Biphobia Fear, unreasonable anger, intolerance, and/or hatred toward bisexuality and bisexual people. Bias & Phobia
• Bisexual A person who is emotionally and/or sexually attracted to persons of more than one gender. Identity
• Bisexual Attraction to more than one gender. Historically defined as attraction to both men and women, it's a core identity on the multisexual spectrum. Identity & Community
• Biting A form of "primal" or sensation play. This can range from gentle, affectionate nibbles (like kissing) to hard, painful bites that may leave marks. Practices & Activities
• BJ Blow Job. The cornerstone of non-procreative sex. If you don't know what this is, you've probably stumbled into the wrong corner of the internet. It'… Sex & Relationships
• Blanket bondage Wrapping someone in thick blankets as a form of soft enclosure — comforting or trapping. Bondage
• Blindfolding Use of visual deprivation to heighten other senses. Often a gateway into deeper kink play. Sensation
• BLM Black Lives Matter. More than just a hashtag, it’s a global movement demanding justice and fighting systemic racism. In the queer community, it’s a n… Identity & Community
• Body Modification A broad term for any deliberate alteration of the body. In a kink context, this can include tattoos, piercings, or "slave tattoos" that are part of a… Fetish & Focus
• Body worship Focused admiration of a body part (feet, chest, butt). Often includes rituals, praise, or submissive gestures. Body focus
• Body writing Writing on skin with markers or lipstick. Often paired with humiliation or ownership scenes. Body play
• Bondage Any form of consensual restraint. This can range from light play with silk ties to heavy restraint with leather cuffs and chains. It's a tool for exp… Practices & Activities
• Bondage Art A form of bondage (usually rope) where the primary focus is aesthetic. The goal is to create a beautiful, intricate visual, often for photography or… Practices & Activities
• Bondage Tape A type of fetish tape, often made of vinyl, that does not have a sticky adhesive. It is designed to stick only to itself, making it a safe way to cre… Gear & Wearables
• Boot Bitch A reclaimed, informal term for someone who polishes or worships boots as a service act within leather culture. Kink & BDSM
• Boot licking Submissive gesture involving licking a dominant’s boots or shoes. Symbol of status and obedience. Power play
• Boot worship Adoring, licking, or servicing boots — linked to dominance, uniform play, and objectification. Power exchange
• Bootblack A service-oriented role focused on cleaning and shining boots—part ritual, part erotic devotion. Kink & BDSM
• Bootblack service Cleaning, caring, and polishing leather boots. Acts as devotion and tradition. Service
• Bottom The receiving partner in a sexual scene. They take sensation, often surrendering control or simply enjoying the experience. Kink & BDSM
• Boy Boys play with regression and devotion—finding safety in rules and affection. Psychological
• Brand obsession Focusing kink around specific brands, logos, or gear types — rooted in desire, identity, or aesthetic. Sensation
• Branding An extreme form of "marks" play that involves creating a permanent scar, either through heat (strike branding) or extreme cold (freeze branding). Thi… Extreme & Edge Play
• Brat Brats challenge to connect. Their pushback invites structure, attention, and playful correction. Psychological
• Brat A submissive who finds pleasure in "bratting"—playfully defying a Dominant's rules to invite a reaction, chase, or disciplinary scene. It's a form of… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Brat Tamer Brat Tamers channel resistance into play. They correct with patience, not punishment. Psychological
• Bratting Submissive behavior involving teasing, disobedience, or playful challenge to a dominant. Needs compatible dynamic. Submission style
• Breath control Limiting oxygen via hands, masks, or devices. High-risk edge play requiring deep trust and safety protocols. Edge play
• Breath Play A form of sensation play involving the consensual restriction of oxygen, often through light choking, smothering, or masks. This can create a unique… Extreme & Edge Play
• Breeding (Fetish) A common fetish or fantasy centered on the idea of impregnation. In gay male kink, this is a psychological fantasy (as impregnation is not possible)… Practices & Activities
• BTM Bottom. The partner who takes the receiving role in anal sex. It's not about being weak or passive; a Power Bottom can run the whole show from below.… Sex & Relationships
• Bukkake A sexual act, originating from Japanese pornography, where several partners (usually men) take turns ejaculating onto a single person, often on their… Extreme & Edge Play
• Bullwhips A type of single-tail whip, typically heavy and long. While often just cracked for the sound and psychological effect, it is a difficult and high-ris… Gear & Wearables
• Butches A term from lesbian culture for a person (usually a woman or non-binary person) who presents with a masculine identity or expression. It is a core pa… Identity & Culture

C59 terms

• Caging Placing a person in a confined space (e.g., cage or box). Often symbolic of control or objectification. Restraint
• Candle bondage Combines wax play and immobilization — involves strategic placement of wax or candles to restrict motion. Bondage
• Candle wax play Dripping hot wax for controlled pain — color, temperature, and placement matter. Sensation
• Caning Impact play using rigid rods. Often part of structured discipline or corporal punishment scenes. Impact
• Caregiver A nurturing Dominant who provides comfort, guidance, and structure for their submissive. Common in age play or gentle power dynamics. Kink & BDSM
• Catheters (Medical Play) A medical device (a tube) inserted up the urethra into the bladder. In kink, this is an advanced form of medical play or "sounding." It is extremely… Extreme & Edge Play
• CBT Cock and Ball Torture. A corner of the BDSM world where the family jewels are the main event. This practice plays with the intense vulnerability and… Kink & BDSM
• CBT (Ballbusting) Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) is consensual play focused on the genitals. This can range from light slapping or squeezing ("ballbusting") to more advan… Extreme & Edge Play
• CBT (Cock & Ball Torture) Cock and Ball Torture. A broad category of play involving consensual pain or sensation on the penis and testicles. This can include squeezing, slappi… Practices & Activities
• CC Cock Cage. A Chastity Device used in BDSM to lock up a penis. It's a tool for orgasm denial, control, and teasing, often worn for extended periods. T… Kink & BDSM
• CD Cross-Dresser. Someone who wears clothing typically associated with a different gender. This is about gender expression, not identity or sexuality. I… Identity & Community
• CF Chem Friendly. The wink in a profile that says they're open to mixing sex with drugs (Chemsex). It’s the modern equivalent of asking if someone 'part… Health & Safety
• Chains Metal chains are a common BDSM tool. They can be used as heavy-duty restraints (bondage), dragged across the skin (sensation/temperature play), or ra… Gear & Wearables
• Chaser Men who admire and desire bigger or hairier partners, often part of bear and chub scenes. The key is respect, not fetish. Identity & Community
• Chastity Use of a device (e.g. cage, belt) to prevent genital stimulation or orgasm. Can involve control, denial, and long-term power dynamics. Control
• Chastity (Caging) The practice of locking a partner's genitals in a "chastity device" or "cage." The key is held by the Dominant partner, making it a powerful tool for… Gear & Wearables
• Chastity play Preventing access to genitals with physical devices or rules — builds psychological tension. Power exchange
• Chub Large-bodied men who radiate sensual confidence and comfort. Chubs celebrate abundance, warmth, and touch. Identity & Community
• Cigars / Smoking Fetish A fetish centered on the act of smoking (cigars, cigarettes) or the smoker themselves. This can involve psychological "human ashtray" play or be a si… Fetish & Focus
• CIS Cisgender. The term for people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. Basically, not transgender. It's a necessary piece… Identity & Community
• Cisgender A person whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth; i.e., not trans. Identity
• Civil union See Registered partnership. In some jurisdictions used as a synonym for civil/registered partnership with varying rights. Legal & Rights
• Clamps (Nipple, etc.) A common kink toy used for sensation play. Clamps restrict blood flow and create a "pinch" that many find pleasurable. Nipple clamps are most common,… Gear & Wearables
• Cleanliness rules Enforced hygiene standards — from inspection to ritual washing or shaving. Control
• Cling Film (Mummification) Common plastic wrap (like Saran wrap) used for mummification. It's wrapped tightly around the body, providing restraint and a unique, warm sensation.… Practices & Activities
• Clothespins A household item often used as a simple, low-cost clamp for nipples, balls, or other body parts. The spring provides a pinching sensation. They are a… Gear & Wearables
• Clover Clamps A specific type of BDSM clamp, often used for nipples, balls, or lips. They are known for their "pinching" sensation and the fact that they get *tigh… Gear & Wearables
• CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) Erotic roleplay where one party pretends to resist — requires deep trust, pre-negotiation, and aftercare. Power exchange
• Cock rings Rings placed around the base of the penis (and sometimes testicles) to restrict blood flow, enhancing erection and endurance. Tools
• Cock Slapping A form of light CBT or "genital torture." It involves repeatedly slapping the penis and/or testicles, either with a hand or a light impact toy, to cr… Practices & Activities
• Cohabitation rights In some European countries/regions, two persons living together can formalise certain practical matters. Rights vary and are generally limited compar… Legal & Rights
• Cold object play Using metal, glass, or stone items — enhances physical contrast and sensory play. Sensation
• Collars Symbolic and/or physical representation of ownership or connection. Can be casual, play-based, or permanent. Symbolic
• Collars & Leashes A collar is a powerful symbol of a BDSM dynamic, signifying trust, commitment, or "ownership." A leash is often used with it in pet play or scenes in… Gear & Wearables
• Coming-out The process of revealing one’s identity as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or intersex. Culture & Concepts
• Confinement Play (Caging) A form of bondage where a partner is consensually confined in a small space, such as a BDSM "cage" (different from a "chastity cage"), box, or confin… Practices & Activities
• Consensual blackmail Fantasy involving 'leverage' over a submissive — photos, secrets, or social exposure. Power exchange
• Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) An advanced form of play where "no" means "yes." Both partners negotiate clear boundaries and a safeword beforehand, then play out a scene (like abdu… Practices & Activities
• Contract play Formal agreements for BDSM scenes or relationships — signed, ceremonial, or playful. Power exchange
• Corporal Punishment A BDSM term for disciplinary impact play. It refers to any consensual act of "punishing" the body, such as spanking, caning, or paddling, usually for… Practices & Activities
• Corsetry The practice of wearing a corset (a stiff garment) to cinch the waist. This can be for fetish fashion, postural play, or long-term "waist training."… Gear & Wearables
• CPL Couple. Two people in a relationship, often looking for a third. On an app, this signals you're not just messaging one person. Be prepared for a grou… Sex & Relationships
• Crafter An artisan who creates BDSM gear—floggers, collars, rope. Their craftsmanship fuels the scene. Kink & BDSM
• Creampie (Anal) A term for ejaculating inside a partner's anus, without withdrawing. This is a common fetish but carries the *highest* risk for STI transmission. Sex & Anatomy
• Cross-dressing Wearing clothing typically associated with another gender. Can be playful, erotic, or identity-affirming. Roleplay
• Crushing Using weight, pressure, or size as part of arousal. May include trampling or body dominance. Body play
• Cub Younger, playful versions of bears—soft, affectionate, and proudly fuzzy. Identity & Community
• Cuckcake A softer take on the cuckold dynamic—less humiliation, more devotion and pleasure in witnessing a partner’s pleasure. Kink & BDSM
• Cuckold A person aroused by their partner’s sexual activity with others. It can involve humiliation, compersion, or both. Kink & BDSM
• Cuckold (Fetish) A psychological fetish and relationship dynamic. A "cuckold" partner derives arousal (which can be a mix of humiliation and "compersion"—joy at their… Practices & Activities
• Cuckold play One partner watches or is aware while another has sex with someone else. Involves control and power themes. Roleplay
• Cuckold roleplay Erotic jealousy themes where a partner watches or permits external sex — deeply psychological. Power exchange
• Cuckolding Erotic scenario where one partner (often submissive) watches or is aware of the other having sex with someone else. Power exchange
• Cuddling / Snuggling A core part of intimacy for many people. It involves holding, snuggling, and close physical contact, often to build connection, show affection, or pr… Relationships & Intimacy
• Cum (Semen) Play A fetish that involves semen ("cum"). This can include acts like "facials" (ejaculating on a partner), "creampies" (ejaculating inside the anus), or… Sex & Anatomy
• Cum control Partner controls when, how, or if the other may ejaculate. Often part of chastity, teasing, or orgasm denial scenes. Orgasm play
• Cum eating Act of ingesting semen, either one’s own or a partner’s, often used as humiliation, reward, or ritual. Fluid play
• Cupping Ancient practice using glass or silicone cups to create suction. In kink, adds intensity to pain or visual marks. Sensation
• Custom training plans Creating detailed submissive routines — daily tasks, goals, rules. Can last weeks or months. Power exchange

D39 terms

• D/S Dominance and Submission. The power dynamic at the heart of much of BDSM. It's a consensual exchange of power where one person (Dom) takes control an… Kink & BDSM
• Daddy Daddies guide through reassurance and clear direction—structure made safe by affection. Power
• Daddy Mature, confident men who blend authority with care. The Daddy is all about steady energy, protection, and warmth. Identity & Community
• Daddy Bear Seasoned and strong. A blend of the Bear’s warmth and the Daddy’s protective dominance. Identity & Community
• Daddy Dynamic A common gay dynamic where one partner (the "Daddy") takes on a role of authority, mentorship, and care for the other ("boy"). It can be sexual, non-… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Daddy/Mommy dynamic Caregiving role where dominant offers structure, support, and praise. Partner (little) may act submissively or childlike. Power exchange
• DDF Drug and Disease-Free. A common, if somewhat naive, statement on dating profiles. It's meant to signal a preference for sober sex and a clean bill of… Health & Safety
• Degradation Intentional verbal or physical lowering of someone’s status. Must be consensual, clearly negotiated, and often needs strong aftercare. Humiliation
• Degradee Degradees eroticize exposure, shame, and surrender—always with consent and context. Psychological
• Degrader Degraders choreograph humiliation as art and edge—consensual, ethical, and deliberate. Psychological
• Demisexual A person on the ace spectrum who only develops sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond has been formed. The bond comes first, then the attrac… Identity & Community
• Denial Restricting access to pleasure, orgasms, or stimulation. Can build intensity, power, or submissive obedience. Orgasm play
• Denial Bottom A Bottom who derives pleasure from being denied orgasm by their partner, deepening anticipation. Kink & BDSM
• Denial Switch A Switch who enjoys both giving and receiving orgasm denial, blending control and surrender. Kink & BDSM
• Denial Top A Top who controls or denies orgasms as part of power exchange or tease and denial play. Kink & BDSM
• Depathologisation Recognition that no sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression is an illness. Enables access to trans-specific healthcare without a me… Medical & Health
• Deprivation games Taking away vision, hearing, or control — magnifies anticipation and helplessness. Sensation
• Devotee A submissive whose kink is centered on adoration and reverence for their Dominant. Their pleasure lies in devotion itself. Kink & BDSM
• Diaper Lover Someone with a fetish for wearing diapers, either for comfort, regression, or erotic pleasure. Kink & BDSM
• Diaper Play (ABDL) Also known as Adult Baby / Diaper Lover (ABDL). This is a form of roleplay that can involve the non-sexual comfort of age regression (Adult Baby) or… Practices & Activities
• Diapers (ABDL) Also known as Adult Baby / Diaper Lover (ABDL). This is a form of roleplay that can involve the non-sexual comfort of age regression (Adult Baby) or… Practices & Activities
• Different-sex relationship A relationship of people of two different sexes. Preferred over “opposite-sex,” which assumes only two immutable sexes. Culture & Concepts
• Dirty Talk Speaking explicitly during a sexual or kink encounter. This can range from simple commands ("Yes, Sir") to detailed descriptions, verbal degradation,… Relationships & Intimacy
• Disciplinarian A Dominant who enforces structure and rules, often within domestic discipline dynamics using punishment or correction as tools of care. Kink & BDSM
• Discipline Corrective punishment, often in D/s relationships. May be physical (e.g. spanking) or behavioral (e.g. writing lines). Structure
• Discrimination Unequal or unfair treatment based on grounds such as age, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Types include: Direct discri… Bias & Phobia
• Dom Daddy A Dominant who blends authority with care. Firm yet nurturing, protective yet commanding. Kink & BDSM
• Dom-leaning Switch A Switch who usually prefers control but enjoys submitting sometimes. Flexible but with a dominant streak. Kink & BDSM
• Domestic Discipline A 24/7 or lifestyle dynamic where a Dominant partner sets household rules, and the submissive partner is "disciplined" (e.g., spanked) for breaking t… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Dominant Leads with a sense of design and orchestration. Power is not about shouting but about rhythm, clarity, and containment. Power
• Dominant The person who takes the "in charge" role in a BDSM scene or relationship. This role is built on trust and the responsibility to care for their partn… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Dominant Bottom A bottom who directs the action even while receiving. They control tempo, intensity, and tone from below. Kink & BDSM
• Double penetration Inserting two objects or partners into the same orifice. Often seen as extreme or highly intimate. Penetration
• DP Double Penetration. The act of being penetrated by two penises (or toys) at once, typically anally and/or vaginally. It's a common porn trope and a l… Sex & Relationships
• Drag Theatrical rebels who transform gender into art. Drag artists mix glamour, politics, and humor into living performance. Identity & Community
• DTF Down To Fuck. The three letters that cut through all the bullshit. This isn't about finding an LTR; it's the primal signal that someone is looking fo… Sex & Relationships
• Duct Tape A strong, adhesive household tape. It is sometimes used for bondage or gags, but it is *not* recommended. Gear & Wearables
• Dungeon etiquette Rules of conduct in BDSM spaces — behavioral expectations, dress code, hierarchy. Culture
• Dyke Originally a derogatory slur for a masculine or butch lesbian, this word has been powerfully reclaimed by the community as a term of pride and identi… Identity & Community

E11 terms

• E-Stim (Electro Play) Short for "electro-stimulation." This practice uses special devices (like a TENS unit or Violet Wand) to send mild electrical currents through the bo… Gear & Wearables
• E-Stim (General) Short for "electro-stimulation." This practice uses special devices (like a TENS unit or Violet Wand) to send mild electrical currents through the bo… Practices & Activities
• Edge Player Edge Players eroticize denial, delay, and danger—balancing control and surrender on a knife’s edge. Sensation
• Edger A person who enjoys the act of edging — bringing themselves or a partner to the brink of orgasm repeatedly. Can be a Top, Bottom, or Switch role. Kink & BDSM
• Edging (Orgasm Control) Also known as "orgasm control." The practice of bringing oneself or a partner to the very brink of orgasm, then stopping or reducing stimulation, rep… Practices & Activities
• Electro play Use of mild to strong electrical currents for sensation, control, or stimulation. Involves devices like TENS units or violet wands. Sensation
• Enemas Injection of fluid into the rectum for sensation, cleansing, or medical roleplay. Can carry vulnerability or ritual aspects. Body play
• EXE Experienced. Often used in BDSM contexts to signal that someone isn't a newcomer. An EXE Dom or Sub knows their way around the scene, understands neg… Kink & BDSM
• Exhibitionism Deriving arousal from being seen by others. This can range from being watched by a partner (voyeurism) to playing in a public-facing BDSM dungeon or… Practices & Activities
• Exhibitionist Exhibitionists turn visibility into thrill—each gaze an electric charge. Psychological
• Experimentalist Experimentalists thrive on novelty. Every edge is an invitation to learn. Exploration

F32 terms

• F2F Face to Face. The moment of truth when you finally meet someone from the apps IRL (In Real Life). It's the transition from disembodied chat to an act… Sex & Relationships
• Face Farting A niche fetish and a form of "scat" or "toilet" play where one partner consensually farts on the other's face. This is often part of a humiliation or… Extreme & Edge Play
• Face slapping Impact play targeting the face. Extremely symbolic and risky — requires deep trust and negotiation. Impact
• Face-sitting One partner sits on another’s face for oral or domination. Can be gentle, smothering, or playful. Body play
• Facesitting A dominant act where one partner sits on the other's face. This can be for the purpose of receiving oral sex (rimming or cunnilingus) or as a form of… Practices & Activities
• Fear Play An advanced psychological kink where one partner creates a "safe" illusion of danger. This can involve verbal threats, brandishing (but not using) a… Practices & Activities
• Feederism Erotic interest in feeding or being fed — includes weight gain, food control, and dominance over consumption. Psychological
• Feet Focus on feet — visual, tactile, or olfactory. May involve worship, tickling, trampling, or humiliation. Body part
• Feminization (Sissification) A form of "gender play" where one partner (often a man) is "forced" or guided to adopt feminine attributes. This can involve cross-dressing, makeup,… Practices & Activities
• Feminizer A Dominant who directs or encourages the feminization of their submissive through behavior, attire, or mindset. Kink & BDSM
• Fetishist A person whose arousal centers on a particular object, material, or body part, such as leather, feet, or latex. Kink & BDSM
• FF Fist Fucking. An advanced form of anal play that involves inserting an entire hand into the anus. This requires a huge amount of trust, relaxation, c… Kink & BDSM
• Figging A form of sensation play. A piece of peeled ginger is inserted into the anus, which creates an intense stinging/burning sensation as the body's moist… Extreme & Edge Play
• Financial control One party controls or drains another’s resources. Includes fin-dom and consensual control. Power exchange
• Fingernails (Scratching) A form of sensation or "primal" play. This can range from light, teasing scratches to harder, more intense scratching that leaves marks. Consent abou… Practices & Activities
• Fire Cupping A form of sensation play (borrowed from traditional medicine) where the air inside a glass cup is heated, then placed on the skin. As it cools, it cr… Extreme & Edge Play
• Fire Play An advanced sensation play involving fire. This does *not* mean setting someone on fire. It typically involves "fleshing" (lighting a small amount of… Extreme & Edge Play
• Fisting Inserting the full hand (or more) into a partner’s orifice. Requires extreme care, experience, and trust. Penetration
• Flogging Impact play using floggers — multi-tailed whips. Ranges from gentle to harsh, rhythmic or chaotic. Impact
• Food play Use of edible substances in sensual or symbolic ways. Can be messy, playful, or humiliating. Body play
• Foot Fetish A specific fetish focused on feet. This can include a range of activities, from massaging and kissing to licking or "worshipping." Clear communicatio… Fetish & Focus
• Foot Worship A common form of "worship" play and a specific fetish. It involves one partner showing devotion to the other's feet. Consent must be clear about hygi… Fetish & Focus
• Forced bi Roleplay involving a submissive being 'forced' into sexual acts with someone of the same sex. Highly psychological. Roleplay
• Forced intimacy Simulated or consensually pressured closeness. Often mental/emotional — not necessarily physical. Power exchange
• Forced orgasm Using stimulation to push a partner to climax repeatedly or against their desire. Can be overwhelming or blissful. Orgasm play
• Fraysexual The polar opposite of a demisexual. This is someone who feels an initial sexual spark with strangers or new acquaintances, but it fades away as soon… Identity & Community
• FT FaceTime. The pre-date screening process. A quick FT call can confirm that the person you're talking to isn't a Catfish and that you can actually hol… Slang & Culture
• FTM Female to Male. The counterpart to MTF, this term describes a transgender man who was assigned female at birth and is transitioning to a male identit… Identity & Community
• Fucking Machines An electrical or mechanical device that provides automated, thrusting penetration with a dildo. The speed and depth are often adjustable. It can be u… Gear & Wearables
• Furniture roleplay Being used as furniture — footstool, table, etc. — to explore objectification and endurance. Power exchange
• Furry A subculture interested in anthropomorphic animals (animals with human characteristics). This can involve art, online roleplay, or "fursuiting" (wear… Identity & Culture
• FWB Friends with Benefits. The messy, beautiful, and often complicated space between friendship and a relationship. You hang out, you trust each other, a… Sex & Relationships

G32 terms

• Gags Items placed in the mouth to muffle speech or enforce control. Includes ball gags, bit gags, tape, and cloth. Restraint
• Gags & Hoods Gags are used for speech restriction and include ball gags, bit gags, and tape gags. Hoods cover the entire head, often for sensory deprivation or ob… Gear & Wearables
• Gangbang A type of group sex where several partners all have sex with one person, either sequentially or at the same time. This is distinct from an "orgy," wh… Sex & Anatomy
• Gas Masks A type of hood or mask that covers the face and filters air. In kink, it's used for sensory deprivation, "fear" play, or, in advanced cases, connecte… Gear & Wearables
• Gasmasks Rubber or plastic masks with breathing control, visual distortion, or anonymity. Popular in rubber, pup, and military play. Gear
• Gay A person sexually and/or emotionally attracted to people of the same gender. Traditionally used for men, but some people of multiple/same-gender attr… Identity
• Gay Someone attracted to the same gender. A core identity with a rich history of community, culture, and activism. Identity & Community
• Geek/Nerd Tech-savvy, curious, and passionate about niche worlds—from comics to coding. The geek tribe celebrates intellect and obsession as art. Identity & Community
• Gender A social construct assigning cultural and social expectations based on assigned sex. Core Concepts
• Gender expression How a person manifests gender to others (e.g., dress, speech, mannerisms). May or may not align with identity or assigned sex at birth. Core Concepts
• Gender identity Each person’s deeply felt internal experience of gender, which may or may not correspond to sex assigned at birth and may involve personal body-relat… Core Concepts
• Gender non-conforming Gender expressions other than strictly male or female; outside traditional binary norms. Identity
• Gender Play A broad category of play that involves subverting gender. This includes cross-dressing, "sissification" (feminization), and other forms of "forced" o… Practices & Activities
• Gender reassignment Outdated term for medical transition used legally in some EU contexts (e.g., CJEU 2018). Prefer “transition” for general use. Medical & Health
• Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) Medical, outdated term referring to surgeries within transition-related healthcare. Medical & Health
• Genital Piercings Piercings on the genitals, such as a "Prince Albert" (PA), "Frenum," or "Guiche." These are done for aesthetics and/or to enhance sexual sensation fo… Fetish & Focus
• Genital Toys (Eg vibrating cockrings etc.) Items designed for genital stimulation. This includes vibrators, cock rings (to enhance erections), masturbators/strokers, and remote-control devices. Gear & Wearables
• GGG Good, Giving, and Game. A concept popularized by sex columnist Dan Savage. It's the ideal attitude for a sexual partner: be good at it, be generous w… Sex & relationships
• GH Glory Hole. A hole in a wall or partition, often in a public restroom or adult bookstore, used for anonymous oral sex. It's a classic, seedy cruising… Sex & Relationships
• GHB Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate. A depressant drug often used in the Chemsex scene, known for increasing libido and euphoria. It's notoriously difficult to dos… Health & Safety
• Glory Hole A hole in a partition (often in an adult bookstore or sex club) that allows for anonymous sexual acts, typically oral sex, with the person on the oth… Practices & Activities
• Gloves (Fetish) A fetish focused on gloves, often made of materials like latex, leather, or satin. This can be a visual fetish or involve a "gloved handjob" for a di… Fetish & Focus
• GNC Gender Non-Conforming. An umbrella term for people who don't follow society's stereotypes about how they should look, act, or dress based on their ge… Identity & Community
• Goo bondage Encasing someone in sticky or congealing substances (glue, wax, food) — combines restriction and mess. Bondage
• Gooning Deliberately entering a trance-like hyper-arousal state through prolonged edging and media fixation. Sensation
• GR Grindr. The infamous geosocial networking app that revolutionized gay hookup culture. It’s a chaotic marketplace of torsos, Stats, and unsolicited Pi… Slang & Culture
• Graysexual Inhabiting the "gray area" on the Asexual spectrum. A graysexual person might feel sexual attraction very rarely, only under specific circumstances,… Identity & Community
• Group play Scenes involving more than two people — can be sexual, performative, ritual, or symbolic. Social play
• Group scenes Scenes with multiple players — may involve watching, assisting, or rotating roles. Requires negotiation and structure. Community
• Group Sex Any consensual sexual encounter with three or more people (e.g., a threesome or orgy). This requires a high level of communication to ensure *everyon… Sex & Anatomy
• Gym Bunny Sculpted and social. Gym bunnies treat fitness as both art and ritual—a celebration of the body’s glow. Identity & Community
• Gynesexual The counterpart to androsexual. Describes attraction to women, femininity, or female anatomy, regardless of whether the person you're attracted to id… Identity & Community

H28 terms

• H&H High and Horny. The state of being that fuels many a late-night PNP session. It's the potent combination of being under the influence of drugs (Chems… Health & Safety
• Hair pulling Grabbing and pulling hair to assert control or induce pain. Symbolic and often tied to dominance. Impact
• Hairbrush Spanking A common form of "domestic discipline" or impact play. The back of a wooden or plastic hairbrush is used as a paddle to spank a partner's buttocks. Practices & Activities
• Hand worship Fetish or reverence for hands. May involve kissing, licking, or gentle use of hands in power dynamics. Body part
• Handcuffs Metal or leather restraints used to bind wrists or ankles. Symbolic of law, control, or helplessness. Restraint
• Handler A Dominant who trains, guides, or manages a pup or pet in play. They blend authority with encouragement. Kink & BDSM
• Harassment Any unwelcome act or conduct related to sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression that is offensive, humiliating, or intimidating; can inc… Bias & Phobia
• Hard limits Things a person never consents to — non-negotiable boundaries. Must be respected in all scenes. Consent
• Hate crime Offences motivated by hate or bias against a group (e.g., gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, age, disability). Also ca… Bias & Phobia
• Hate speech Public expressions that spread, incite, promote, or justify hatred, discrimination, or hostility toward minorities. Bias & Phobia
• Heavy Fisting Fisting is the act of inserting a hand into the anus. "Heavy" fisting implies pushing limits, sometimes with both hands. This is an advanced act that… Extreme & Edge Play
• Heightened breath play Deliberate control or restriction of breathing — risky and requires strong trust. Sensation
• Heteroflexible Mostly straight. A label for someone who primarily dates the opposite gender but is open to the occasional same-gender fun or connection. Identity & Community
• Heteronormativity Beliefs and practices that enforce a strict gender binary and position heterosexuality as the norm; assumes alignment of sex, gender, and sex charact… Culture & Concepts
• Heterosexual A person who identifies as a man attracted only to women, or a person who identifies as a woman attracted only to men. Identity
• High heels Erotic focus on high-heeled shoes. May symbolize dominance, elegance, or vulnerability. Clothing
• HIV Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus that causes AIDS. With modern medicine, an HIV+ diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. With treatment, peop… Health & Safety
• Homoflexible Mostly gay. The flip side of heteroflexible. You're primarily into the same gender, but you don't rule out the possibility of an opposite-gender conn… Identity & Community
• Homophobia Fear, unreasonable anger, intolerance, and/or hatred directed towards homosexuality and people perceived as gay/lesbian. Bias & Phobia
• Homosexual Classification based on the gender of one’s partners being the same as one’s own. Recommended to use “lesbian” and “gay” instead, as these are more n… Identity
• Homosexual The clinical, slightly archaic term for someone attracted to the same gender. It has a scientific "specimen" vibe that most people have ditched in fa… Identity & Community
• Hoods Full head coverings made of leather, latex, or fabric. Remove identity, create anonymity or sensory focus. Gear
• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Hormone therapy that may be part of transition-related medical care or intersex-specific healthcare. Medical & Health
• Hosiery play Control or fetish of socks, tights, stockings. May be visual, tactile, or linked to control. Clothing
• Hot wax Dripping melted wax on the skin for sensation play. Temperature and candle type must be chosen carefully. Sensation
• Human Ashtray A form of psychological degradation and objectification. The submissive consensually allows their partner to ash on them or in their mouth. This is a… Extreme & Edge Play
• Humiliation (Verbal) A psychological practice where a submissive finds pleasure in being consensually shamed, degraded, or embarrassed. This is almost always verbal ("dir… Practices & Activities
• Hunk A timeless archetype of masculine allure—muscular, confident, and built to turn heads. Identity & Community

I13 terms

• IC Incall. The opposite of Outcall. It means the sex worker or host is providing the location, and you have to travel to them. Sex & Relationships
• IMHO In My Humble Opinion. A classic piece of internet speak used to soften a statement. It's a way of offering your two cents without coming across as an… Slang & Culture
• Impact Bottom The receiver in an impact scene. They find pleasure or release in the rhythm, pain, or surrender. Kink & BDSM
• Impact Play A broad category for any play that involves striking the body. This includes spanking (hands), paddling (paddles), flogging (floggers), caning (canes… Practices & Activities
• Impact Player A general term for anyone who enjoys impact play (spanking, flogging, caning), without specifying a Top, Bottom, or Switch role. Kink & BDSM
• Impact Switch Someone who enjoys both giving and receiving impact—spanking, flogging, or caning—with equal enthusiasm. Kink & BDSM
• Impact Top The giver in an impact scene, delivering strikes with precision, care, and rhythm. Kink & BDSM
• Inflatables A category of fetish gear that can be inflated with air. This includes inflatable butt plugs (which expand inside the body) or inflatable suits that… Gear & Wearables
• Inspection scenes Dominant visually or physically checks the submissive's body, posture, or behavior. Linked to humiliation or protocol. Power exchange
• Interrogation Scenes that simulate questioning, intimidation, or psychological pressure. Blends fear, control, and ritual. Roleplay
• Interrogation Play A psychological roleplay scene focused on an interrogator trying to get information from a "prisoner." It often involves questioning, intimidation, a… Practices & Activities
• Intersex People born with sex characteristics (anatomy, hormones, chromosomes, etc.) that do not fit typical definitions of male or female. “Intersex” is an u… Identity
• IR Interracial. A term for relationships or sexual encounters between people of different racial backgrounds. In the queer community, this often interse… Sex & Relationships

J2 terms

• J/O Jack Off. Masturbation. Whether it's a solo activity or a group event (Circle Jerk), it's the foundational sexual act. Sex & Relationships
• Jock Athletic men whose sporty confidence and physical ease exude both discipline and desire. Identity & Community

K8 terms

• Keyholder The one who holds the key in a chastity dynamic, controlling when or if their partner may orgasm. Kink & BDSM
• Kicking A form of heavy impact play. In kink, this is usually done with boots and is directed at durable parts of the body, like the thighs, boots, or buttoc… Extreme & Edge Play
• Kilts (Fetish) A fetish centered on the Scottish kilt. This is often tied to masculinity, "uniform" fetishes, or the "easy access" and "what's underneath" fantasy. Fetish & Focus
• Kinkster A broad term for anyone active in the kink or BDSM world. A kinkster may enjoy power play, fetishes, or creative erotic expression. Kink & BDSM
• Kissing A common act of intimacy. This can range from a simple kiss on the cheek to "making out" (deep, passionate kissing). It's a key way to build connecti… Relationships & Intimacy
• Kneeling A core symbol of submission. Used in protocols, rituals, and erotic displays of humility. Power exchange
• Knife Play A form of edge play that uses a knife for sensation (cold steel, dull edge) or psychological "fear" play. This is an advanced kink that requires imme… Extreme & Edge Play
• KO Knockout. A very niche and high-risk form of Breath Play where the goal is to cause a partner to temporarily lose consciousness. This is an extreme e… Kink & BDSM

L22 terms

• Large Objects (Anal) A form of anal play focused on "stretching" or "gaping" by using toys that are significantly larger than a penis. This is an advanced practice that r… Extreme & Edge Play
• Latex Material fetish centered on latex clothing or gear. Known for tight fit, gloss, and smell. Material
• Latex / Rubber A popular fetish material, loved for its skin-tight feel, smell, and "second skin" look. It's often used for full-body catsuits, hoods, and other fet… Gear & Wearables
• Latex play Wearing or controlling latex clothing — includes sensory restriction, breath play, and identity themes. Body play
• LDR Long-Distance Relationship. A relationship where the partners live far apart. It's a challenge of trust, communication, and expensive plane tickets.… Sex & Relationships
• Leash & collar Symbolic restraint or ownership. Collars can be decorative or functional; leashes amplify control. Restraint
• Leather More than just a material, leather is a core part of gay kink history and identity. It's used for fetish wear (chaps, harnesses, vests) and durable b… Gear & Wearables
• Leather Daddy An experienced Dominant within the leather scene, often a mentor or caretaker for younger members. Kink & BDSM
• Leather discipline Behavioral correction using rules from leather traditions — strict, ritualistic, and respectful. Power exchange
• Leather Dyke A butch lesbian whose identity is rooted in the leather and BDSM community—strength, pride, and heritage. Kink & BDSM
• Leather rituals Traditions, gestures, or codes associated with leather subculture. Often rich in community values. Power exchange
• Leatherboy A younger or submissive-leaning member of the leather community who learns from elders and carries on its codes. Kink & BDSM
• Leatherman A core identity in the leather subculture—marked by honor, mentorship, and community tradition. Kink & BDOM
• Leatherman Defined by discipline, heritage, and erotic ritual. Leathermen embody the aesthetics and ethos of power, respect, and restraint. Identity & Community
• Legal gender recognition A legal process by which a trans and/or intersex person’s gender is recognised in law, or the outcome of that process. Legal & Rights
• Lesbian A woman who is sexually and/or emotionally attracted to women. Identity
• Lesbian A woman who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other women. A core identity with a rich history of community, culture, and activism. Identity & Community
• LFG Looking for Group. A term borrowed from the gaming world (Gaymer) that has been adapted for seeking a group sex scenario. It's a less direct way of s… Sex & Relationships
• LGBTI Acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and intersex people. Culture & Concepts
• LOL Laughing Out Loud. The classic internet acronym that can mean anything from 'That was mildly amusing' to 'I am actively ignoring what you just said'.… Slang & Culture
• Love While not a "kink," love is a core component of many BDSM and non-monogamous relationships. It is the foundation of trust, care, and intimacy that ma… Relationships & Intimacy
• LTR Long-Term Relationship. The unicorn of the dating app world. Putting this in your bio is a bold declaration that you’re not just looking for a NSA ho… Sex & Relationships

M27 terms

• M4M Men for Men. A classification used in personal ads and on some apps to specify that you are a man seeking another man. A basic, functional tag from t… Sex & Relationships
• Marks & bruises Intentional physical marks left as memory or proof — from spanking, biting, etc. Sensation
• Marriage equality Marriage laws that include same-sex couples equally. Often mislabelled as “gay marriage”; the accurate term is marriage equality. Legal & Rights
• Masc-on-masc dominance Erotic energy rooted in competitive or mirrored masculinity — power struggle without feminization. Power exchange
• Masking Covering the face or head — anonymizes and objectifies. Can link to objectification or sensory control. Roleplay
• Masochist Pain becomes transformation. Each sensation holds connection, sacrifice, and catharsis. Sensation
• Massages (Sensual) The act of rubbing or stroking the body, often with oils. This can be non-sexual (for relaxation) or "sensual," serving as a form of "sensualism" pla… Relationships & Intimacy
• Master Masters practice structured dominance, built on ritual and reverence. Their control is precise, deliberate, and often constant. Power
• Master / Slave One of the most formal types of Power Exchange, often (but not always) involving 24/7 protocols, deep trust, and a high level of service and authorit… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Masturbation Stimulating one's own genitals for sexual pleasure. This can be a solo activity or done with a partner (mutual masturbation). It is a core part of ex… Sex & Anatomy
• MDMA Also known as Ecstasy or Molly. A popular party drug that causes feelings of euphoria, empathy, and enhanced sensation. It's a common player in the C… Health & Safety
• Medical Play A form of roleplay centered on medical themes. This can range from simple "doctor checkup" scenes to more intense play involving sterile equipment, r… Practices & Activities
• Medical Player Someone who enjoys medical roleplay. This can range from "doctor/patient" scenes to fetishizing medical equipment, procedures, or sensations. Kink & BDSM
• Medical restraint Using hospital straps or institutional restraints. Blends clinical fear with surrender. Bondage
• Medical uniforms Play involving doctor/nurse roles — includes outfit, behavior, and clinical dominance. Clothing
• Medieval Devices A category of BDSM furniture and restraints inspired by historical torture or punishment devices. This includes items like stocks (for wrists/ankles)… Gear & Wearables
• Military Play A form of roleplay centered on military themes. This often involves wearing uniforms, a strict hierarchy (e.g., officer/enlisted), "interrogation" sc… Practices & Activities
• Mind Control (Mindfuck) An advanced form of psychological play where a Dominant uses suggestion, "gaslighting" (consensual), or hypnosis to influence a submissive's thoughts… Extreme & Edge Play
• Mindfuck Scenes designed to confuse, shock, or mislead — often relies on suggestion, ambiguity, or twists. Power exchange
• Model A bondage or fetish model who poses for photos or performances, blending erotic art with exhibition. Kink & BDSM
• Monogamy A relationship model based on romantic and sexual exclusivity between two partners. This is often the default assumption but should be explicitly dis… Relationships & Intimacy
• Monosexual An umbrella term for anyone who is only attracted to one gender. This includes people who identify as straight, gay, or lesbian. Identity & Community
• MSM Men Who Have Sex with Men. A clinical term used in public health to describe a behavioral category, regardless of how someone identifies. It's useful… Health & Safety
• MTF Male to Female. A term used to describe a transgender woman who was assigned male at birth and is transitioning to a female identity. It's a slightly… Identity & Community
• Mummification Wrapping the body in layers (e.g., plastic, latex, or bandages) to restrict movement. Claustrophobic and symbolic. Restraint
• Muscle Bear Hairy, muscular men who merge Bear sensuality with a gym-built physique—strength meets softness. Identity & Community
• Muscle Worship A form of body worship focused on a partner's physique. This typically involves the submissive partner massaging, kissing, or showing reverence for t… Fetish & Focus

N11 terms

• Name stripping Removal of someone's name or identity — replaced with titles like 'boy', 'object', or 'number'. Power exchange
• Needle Play A form of sensation play involving the insertion of sterile, single-use (hypodermic or acupuncture) needles into the top layers of the skin. This is… Extreme & Edge Play
• NEG HIV-Negative. A statement of one's HIV status. While important, the simple NEG or POS binary is being complicated by concepts like U=U and the widesp… Health & Safety
• Nipple Clamps A common kink toy used for sensation play. They restrict blood flow and create a "pinch" that many find pleasurable. They can range from light (cloth… Gear & Wearables
• Nipple Piercings A common genital-area piercing. In kink, they are often used as anchor points for nipple clamps, weights, or bondage tape, which can heighten sensati… Fetish & Focus
• Nipple play Stimulation of nipples through touch, clamps, wax, or suction. Highly variable sensitivity among individuals. Sensation
• Nipple torment Play focused on nipple pain or control — clamps, suction, flicking. A classic masochistic zone. Sensation
• Non-binary Gender identities that are not exclusively male or female. Identity
• Non-Monogamist Non-Monogamists build webs of care instead of cages. They balance autonomy with transparency. Relational
• NPNC No Pic, No Chat. A hard-and-fast rule on dating apps for people who are tired of talking to blank, anonymous profiles. It's a demand for basic transp… Slang & Culture
• NSA No Strings Attached. The quintessential agreement for modern casual sex. It means you’re here for a good time, not a long time. There's no expectatio… Sex & Relationships

O19 terms

• O&G Objectification and Gratification. A BDSM dynamic where a person is treated as an object for their partner's pleasure. This is a consensual game of d… Kink & BDSM
• Obedience positions Set of formal postures a submissive may be trained in — present, kneel, inspection, etc. Power exchange
• Object A form of consensual objectification where someone takes pleasure in being treated as a thing — with agreed boundaries and meaning. Kink & BDSM
• Object bondage Restraining someone *into* furniture or objects — symbolic merger of body and thing. Bondage
• Objectification A psychological "game" where a person is consensually treated as an inanimate object, like furniture or a footstool, for the pleasure of their partne… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Objectumsexual Experiences sexual and/or romantic attraction to objects or structures. For some, this can include strong emotional bonds or a sense of relationship… Identity & Community
• Obligation service Tasks done not for fun, but because they’re assigned — psychological submission layer. Power exchange
• Off-limits teasing Temptation without access — showing or mentioning what’s forbidden. Flirty torment. Power exchange
• Omega The bottom of the pack hierarchy — often portrayed as submissive, sensitive, or intuitive. Sometimes proud of it. Kink & BDSM
• OMFG Oh My Fucking God. The amplified version of OMG, used for moments of extreme shock, excitement, or disgust. It's the acronym you type when someone se… Slang & Culture
• OMNISEXUAL Attracted to all genders, but unlike Pansexuality, gender can still be a factor in the attraction. An Omnisexual person might have different feelings… Identity & Community
• Omnisexual Similar to pansexual, but with a key difference: omnisexual people are attracted to all genders, but they *see* and recognize the gender of the perso… Identity & Community
• Oral Sex (Cocksucking) Commonly known as a "blow job," this is the act of stimulating a partner's penis with the mouth. Clear consent and discussion about boundaries (like… Sex & Anatomy
• ORB Oral/Breath Play. A combination of oral sex and Breath Play (consensual choking or airflow restriction). This is an intense, high-risk activity that… Kink & BDSM
• Orgasm control Manipulating timing of orgasm through denial, edging, or command. Often part of power exchange. Orgasm play
• Otter Lean and hairy men with a playful spark—otters blend the sensuality of bears with an agile, flirty energy. Identity & Community
• Out Being openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or intersex. Culture & Concepts
• Overstimulation Pushing a body past orgasm or sensory limit — blends pleasure, discomfort, and surrender. Sensation
• Owner Owners provide rules, shelter, and attention—leading with responsibility, not possession. Roleplay

P50 terms

• Paddling A form of impact play that involves spanking with a "paddle" (a flat, broad tool), as opposed to a hand, cane, or flogger. It typically creates a "th… Practices & Activities
• Pansexual A person emotionally and/or sexually attracted to people regardless of their gender. Identity
• Pansexual Attraction to people regardless of their gender. Often described as being attracted to "hearts, not parts," it emphasizes a person's identity over th… Identity & Community
• Pegging A specific term for when a person (of any gender) uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a man anally. This is a common practice in both queer and straig… Sex & Anatomy
• Pet Pets embody devotion through behavior—obedience, attention, and joy in being seen. Roleplay
• Pet Play A form of animal roleplay where one partner takes on the persona of an animal (e.g., pup, pony) and the other acts as their Handler or Trainer. It of… Core Dynamics & Roles
• PIC Picture. The currency of dating apps. 'Send Pic?' is the inevitable question. This can range from a face pic to a full-blown nude. The exchange of pi… Slang & Culture
• Piercing play Fetish involving piercings — permanent or temporary. May be erotic, ritual, or aesthetic. Medical
• Pillow Queen A person who loves to receive pleasure but rarely gives. They enjoy being adored like royalty. Kink & BDSM
• Piss Play (Watersports) Also called "watersports" or "golden showers." A common fetish centered on urine, which can involve watching, being urinated on, or (rarely) drinking… Extreme & Edge Play
• Play Punishment The "consequence" in a BDSM scene, especially in Brat or Discipline dynamics. This is a negotiated, consensual act (like spanking or writing lines) t… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Pleasure Dom A Dominant whose main thrill is maximizing their submissive’s pleasure — sometimes to an overwhelming degree. Kink & BDSM
• Pleasure Masochist A submissive who finds erotic thrill in the edge between pain and pleasure, exploring where they blur. Kink & BDSM
• Pleasure Sadist A Dominant who enjoys pushing the limits of pleasure — forced orgasms, overstimulation, or intensity as an art form. Kink & BDSM
• Pleasure Sub A submissive whose kink revolves around receiving pleasure — sometimes so intense it becomes a form of surrender. Kink & BDSM
• PNP Party and Play. The intersection of sex and drug use, typically involving stimulants like methamphetamine (Tina) or GHB. It's a subculture focused on… Health & Safety
• Police roleplay Authority-focused scenes using uniforms, interrogation, arrest scenarios, or power dynamics. Roleplay
• POLY Polyamorous. The practice of having multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involv… Sex & Relationships
• Polyamory A form of ethical non-monogamy where individuals have multiple, loving, and committed romantic relationships at the same time, with the full knowledg… Relationships & Intimacy
• Polysexual Attraction to multiple, but not necessarily all, genders. Think of it as being on the multisexual spectrum somewhere between bisexual and pansexual. Identity & Community
• Pony play A sub-genre of pet play involving horse behavior, tack, training, and often choreography. Roleplay
• POS HIV-Positive. A statement of one's HIV status. In the modern era, being POS is not a scarlet letter. Thanks to effective treatment, it's a manageable… Health & Safety
• Post-orgasm torture Stimulating or torturing the body after orgasm — high sensitivity makes it extreme. Sensation
• Posture training Correcting or controlling physical position — e.g., crawling, kneeling, standing still. Builds discipline. Power exchange
• POV Point of View. A style of porn shot from the perspective of one of the participants. It's designed to make the viewer feel like they are part of the… Sex & Relationships
• Power Bottom A bottom who is anything but passive. They direct the pace, give feedback, and often take control from the receiving position. Kink & BDSM
• Power Exchange A broad term for any BDSM dynamic where one partner (submissive) consensually gives power and control to another (Dominant). This can be for a short… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Predicament bondage Bondage that creates a dilemma — moving one way eases one pain but worsens another. Psychological torment. Bondage
• PrEP Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. A daily pill that is highly effective at preventing HIV. PrEP has been a game-changer for sexual health in the gay communit… Health & Safety
• Preppy Clean-cut, crisp, and composed. Preppies favor refinement over rebellion and charm over chaos. Identity & Community
• Pride events Annual demonstrations and celebrations against LGBTIphobia and for LGBTI rights, held worldwide. Culture & Concepts
• Primal (Hunter) Hunters chase with body, breath, and sound. They move by impulse, not script. Sensation
• Primal (Prey) Prey crave the chase—the moment between fear and surrender. They love being caught, pinned, seen. Sensation
• Property A submissive who finds freedom and pleasure in being the cherished possession of their Dominant or Owner. Kink & BDSM
• Prostate Massage The act of stimulating the prostate, an internal gland often called the "male P-spot." This is done by inserting a finger or a curved toy into the an… Sex & Anatomy
• Prostate Milking A specific form of prostate massage where the goal is to "milk" the prostate, causing a "hands-free" ejaculation. This is an advanced technique that… Sex & Anatomy
• Prostate Play The act of stimulating the prostate, an internal gland (P-spot) that can produce intense orgasms. This is typically done by inserting a finger or a c… Sex & Anatomy
• Protocol The "rules" of a power dynamic, agreed upon by both partners. This can include how to speak ("Yes, Sir"), daily tasks, or rituals. It provides struct… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Psychological control Dominance through non-physical means — mind games, restrictions, fear, or framing. Power exchange
• Psychological Player Someone whose kink is focused on the mind. This includes power dynamics, humiliation, praise, gaslighting, or emotional control, often more than phys… Kink & BDSM
• Public exposure Creating risk of being seen, caught, or watched — physical or digital. Requires risk boundaries. Roleplay
• Public Humiliation An advanced form of humiliation where a submissive is consensually embarrassed in public. This can range from subtle acts (like wearing a hidden plug… Extreme & Edge Play
• Public obedience Following rules or gestures in public — discreet, symbolic, or brave. Power exchange
• Public play Scenes or expressions that involve public exposure, risk, or exhibitionism (within legal/consensual bounds). Exhibitionism
• Punching Play An extreme form of impact play for advanced masochists, involving consensual, controlled punches to muscular areas (like the gut or pecs). This is *n… Extreme & Edge Play
• Punishment diaries Journals where submissives record infractions and punishments — structured and ritualized. Power exchange
• Pup Playful men who embody loyalty and energy through pup play or affectionate submission. It’s all about joy and pack vibes. Identity & Community
• Pup play Roleplay involving being a puppy — playful, submissive, or dominant. Gear and headspace often involved. Roleplay
• Puppy Play (Pup Play) A popular form of "pet play" where a partner (the "pup") adopts the headspace and mannerisms of a puppy. This often involves a "Handler," a pup hood,… Core Dynamics & Roles
• PVC A synthetic material (polyvinyl chloride) used in fetish wear. It's known for its high-gloss, "wet" look and is often used for boots, catsuits, and s… Gear & Wearables

Q5 terms

• QPOC Queer Person of Color. An identity term that specifically highlights the intersection of being both queer and a person of color. It's a term of solid… Identity & Community
• QPP Queerplatonic Partner. A relationship that blurs the lines between intense friendship and romantic partnership. A QPP involves a deep, committed bond… Sex & Relationships
• Queer Historically a slur, now reclaimed by many who identify beyond traditional gender categories and heteronormative norms. Some still find it offensive… Identity
• Queer The ultimate reclaimed umbrella term. Once a vicious slur, "queer" has been embraced as a defiant, political, and inclusive identity for anyone who i… Identity & Community
• Queer A defiant identity embracing fluidity and edge. Queer folks bend style, gender, and norms into self-made expression. Identity & Community

R19 terms

• Reciprosexual You're not attracted to them until you know they're attracted to you first. It's a conditional attraction that turns on only in response to someone e… Identity & Community
• Registered partnership A legal recognition of relationships, not always granting the same rights/benefits as marriage; also called civil union/civil partnership. Legal & Rights
• Restraint art Erotic bondage focused on symmetry, aesthetics, and control — often photographed or exhibited. Restraint
• Restraints (Cuffs, etc.) A general term for any gear used for bondage. This includes metal handcuffs, leather cuffs, fuzzy cuffs, rope, bondage tape, spreader bars, and more. Gear & Wearables
• Riding Crops A type of impact toy, originally for horse riding. It consists of a handle, a stiff shaft, and a flexible "popper" at the end. It delivers a sharp, s… Gear & Wearables
• Rigger Riggers tie intention into every knot. Each line becomes a sentence, each pull a breath. Roleplay
• Rimming (Ass Worship) This is the act of using the mouth and tongue to stimulate a partner's anus. It's a common part of gay male sex and, like any act, requires clear con… Sex & Anatomy
• Ritual bath Structured, often submissive washing routines — tied to preparation, purification, or worship. Power exchange
• RL Real Life. The world beyond the screen. The ultimate goal of most online interactions is to eventually take things to the RL. Slang & Culture
• RN Right Now. The even more urgent version of ASAP. If someone is looking RN, they are likely already naked and waiting for you to give them an ETA. Slang & Culture
• Role reversal Switching traditional D/s or gender roles in a scene — often symbolic, humorous, or liberating. Roleplay
• Rope Bondage (Shibari) A specific type of bondage using rope. It can be simple and functional or highly complex and artistic, as in Japanese Shibari. It can also be used fo… Practices & Activities
• Rope Bottom The person being tied. They enjoy surrender, pressure, and the meditative stillness of restraint. Kink & BDSM
• Rope Bunny Rope Bunnies offer their body as canvas. Trust becomes art as they’re held in tension. Roleplay
• Rope suspension Lifting or partially suspending a body using rope. Physically demanding and symbolically powerful. Bondage
• Rope Top The partner who ties during rope play. They focus on precision, safety, and the shared experience of restraint. Kink & BDSM
• Rubber Fetish around rubber clothing or gear. Tighter and glossier than latex; often used interchangeably. Material
• Rubberist Someone aroused by the look, feel, or restriction of rubber or latex clothing. Kink & BDSM
• Rugged Men who embody earthy masculinity with a touch of grit—less polished, more real. Identity & Community

S94 terms

• S&M Sadism and Masochism. A core component of BDSM, this is the dynamic of deriving pleasure from inflicting (Sadism) or receiving (Masochism) pain or hu… Kink & BDSM
• Sadism Erotic pleasure derived from inflicting pain, degradation, or fear. Can be physical or psychological. Sensation
• Sadist Draws arousal from calibrated pain, emotional edge, and sensory artistry. Ethics and awareness define the edge. Sensation
• Sadistic teasing Prolonged torment that alternates pain and pleasure. Often emotional and psychological. Power exchange
• Sadomasochism (S&M) S&M is the umbrella term for the dynamic between a Sadist (one who enjoys giving consensual pain/sensation) and a Masochist (one who enjoys receiving… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Sadomasochist A person who enjoys both giving and receiving pain or intensity — finding balance between control and surrender. Kink & BDSM
• Same-sex marriage (term usage) There is no separate “same-sex marriage” law in practice; the correct concept is marriage equality — opening marriage laws to same-sex couples on equ… Legal & Rights
• Same-sex relationships or couples Relationships/couples consisting of two people of the same sex. Culture & Concepts
• Sapiosexual Primarily attracted to intelligence or intellectual connection, often prioritizing mental stimulation over gender or physical appearance. Identity & Community
• Sapphic A beautifully poetic umbrella term for women who are attracted to other women, be they lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual. Named after the poet Sappho. Identity & Community
• Scat (Toilet Play) Also known as "toilet play." A fetish centered on feces. This is a niche fetish that involves high social taboos and significant health consideration… Extreme & Edge Play
• Scat roleplay Feces-related play. Extremely taboo and practiced with rare safety rituals. Not widely accepted. Body play
• Scent dominance Control via smell — sweat, underwear, armpits. Connects intimacy with hierarchy. Sensation
• Scratching Post A playful term for a submissive in a primal scene who absorbs rough, animalistic energy like biting or scratching. Kink & BDSM
• Second parent adoption Where a same-sex partner is allowed to adopt their partner’s biological child(ren). Legal & Rights
• Secret commands Gesture or non-verbal signals triggering rules, posture, or internal reaction in submissive. Control
• Secret rules Rules only known by the dominant and submissive — adds stealth, tension, or anticipation. Control
• Self-Bondage The act of applying restraints to oneself for pleasure. This is a solo activity that requires extensive planning to ensure a "quick release" or "esca… Practices & Activities
• Self-Tier A rope artist who ties themselves, combining skill, safety, and self-exploration in solo practice. Kink & BDSM
• Sensation Play A type of play that explores senses *other* than impact. This includes temperature (ice, hot wax), texture (feathers, pinwheels), or sensory deprivat… Practices & Activities
• Sensation Player A broad term for someone who explores sensory play. This includes temperature, texture, sound, or sensory deprivation, often overlapping with impact… Kink & BDSM
• Sensory deprivation Reducing senses (sight, sound, touch) using blindfolds, hoods, earplugs. Creates deep submission or altered state. Control
• Sensory overload Layering stimuli — sound, touch, visuals — to create overwhelming erotic intensity. Sensation
• Sensual Play A type of play focused on heightening *all* five senses. This is often a slow, gentle form of kink involving feathers, oil, blindfolds, music, or foo… Practices & Activities
• Sensualism A type of play focused on heightening *all* five senses. This is often a slow, gentle form of kink involving feathers, oil, blindfolds, music, or foo… Practices & Activities
• Sensualist Sensualists engage all senses—taste, scent, sound, texture, light—to heighten awareness and arousal. Sensation
• Servant uniforms Dressing in maid, butler, or military-like uniforms — enhances service dynamics. Clothing
• Service A submissive style centered on acts of service, such as bootblacking (shining boots), preparing meals, or performing rituals. The pleasure comes from… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Service protocols Following established rituals, greetings, or tasks within a dynamic. Often seen in M/s or high protocol scenes. Power exchange
• Service Sub Service Subs offer stability through action—cleaning, preparing, assisting, attending. Power
• Service submission Fulfilling tasks, chores, or rituals for a dominant. Emotional and spiritual component of submission. Submission
• Service Top Service Tops lead with intention, offering sensation as service and precision as affection. Power
• Servitude Performing tasks or domestic roles in a submissive mindset. Ranges from cleaning to protocol service. Power exchange
• Sex Classification typically assigned at birth (male/female) based on external anatomy; in reality a combination of chromosomes, hormones, reproductive o… Core Concepts
• Sex (Sexual Activity) A broad term for any activity intended to provide sexual pleasure. This can range from kissing and masturbation to oral, anal, or kink-based play. Th… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Sex characteristics A person’s chromosomes, anatomy, hormonal structure, and reproductive organs. Advocates recommend protecting “sex characteristics” explicitly in anti… Core Concepts
• Sexual Objectification A form of psychological play where a submissive partner is treated as a "thing" for the Dominant's sexual use (e.g., "human dildo," "cum receptacle")… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Sexual orientation Each person’s capacity for profound affection, emotional/sexual attraction to, and intimate relations with individuals of the same, different, or mor… Core Concepts
• Shackles A type of bondage gear, often made of metal and lockable, used for wrists and ankles. They are a "heavy" form of restraint, often used with spreader… Gear & Wearables
• Shaming Consensual humiliation around traits, behavior, or desires. Can be verbal or symbolic. Power exchange
• Shaving Erotic or humiliating act of removing hair from head, body, or genitals. Often symbolic of control or ritual. Body play
• Shaving ritual Removing hair as a ritual act — often linked to control, purity, or preparation. Body play
• Shibari (Rope Bondage) A specific, traditional form of Japanese rope bondage. It is known for its intricate, beautiful patterns and its focus on the connection (the "rope d… Practices & Activities
• Shock play Using electrostimulation devices to deliver shocks for pain, muscle tension, or orgasm play. Sensation
• Shoe worship Licking, sniffing, or serving footwear — typically boots or sneakers. Tied to devotion and objectification. Service
• Sigma A “lone wolf” who operates outside traditional hierarchies. Independent, mysterious, and self-contained. Kink & BDSM
• Silence training Practicing prolonged silence or controlled speech — can include gagging or speech denial. Control
• Single Tail Whips A type of BDSM toy with a handle and one long, flexible lash (like an Indiana Jones whip). It's an *advanced* impact toy that is very fast and can ea… Gear & Wearables
• Sir An honorific used to address a Dominant, showing respect and recognition of the power exchange. Always used by mutual agreement. Kink & BDSM
• Sissification Transformative play involving feminizing clothing, behavior, or identity. Can be humiliating, erotic, or comforting. Roleplay
• Sissy / Feminizer A submissive man who adopts a hyper-feminine persona in kink play, exploring gender, vulnerability, and transformation. Kink & BDSM
• Slapping Open-hand strikes to face or body — combines sting and power assertion. Needs consent and body awareness. Impact
• Slave Slaves choose surrender as liberation. They thrive within rules that define purpose and identity. Power
• Slave Tattoos A form of permanent "marking" or "branding." It is a tattoo given to a submissive, often with the Dominant's symbol or sigil, to signify a permanent… Extreme & Edge Play
• Slavery (Kink) The kink-based concept of "slavery" is a consensual 24/7 power dynamic (TPE) where a "slave" gives total authority to a "Master." It is *not* the sam… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Sleep control Dominating someone's rest — waking schedules, bedtime rituals, or dream restriction. Control
• Smooth The sleek, polished counterpart to the Bear—a hairless body aesthetic that highlights texture and touch. Identity & Community
• Smothering Play involving intentional obstruction of breathing with body parts (e.g., face-sitting) or soft materials. Breath play
• SO Significant Other. A gender-neutral term for a committed partner. It's a slightly more formal, grown-up way of talking about your boyfriend, girlfrie… Sex & Relationships
• Socks (Fetish) A common fetish focusing on socks. This can involve the look or feel of the socks (e.g., knee-highs) or a scent component (e.g., used gym socks). Fetish & Focus
• Soft Dom A gentle Dominant who leads through empathy, words, and trust rather than fear or force. Power with tenderness. Kink & BDSM
• Solo Player Someone who practices kink alone, such as self-bondage or solo exploration. Independent and curious. Kink & BDSM
• Sounding Inserting rods into the urethra for sensation, stretching, or medical fetish. Requires strict hygiene. Genital
• Sounding & Figging "Sounding" is inserting sterile, medical-grade objects into the urethra. "Figging" is inserting a piece of peeled ginger into the anus, which creates… Extreme & Edge Play
• Sounding (Urethral Play) The act of inserting smooth, sterile, medical-grade objects (called "sounds") into the urethra. This is an advanced sensation play that many find ple… Extreme & Edge Play
• Spandex / Lycra A type of stretchy fabric (like Lycra) used in fetish wear, wrestling singlets, or zentai suits. It's known for its tight, "second-skin" feel. Gear & Wearables
• Spankee Someone who enjoys receiving spankings, often as part of sensual or disciplinary play. Kink & BDSM
• Spanker Someone who enjoys giving spankings, ranging from playful taps to structured discipline. Kink & BDSM
• Spanking Impact play using hands, paddles, or tools. Can be playful, disciplinary, or erotic. Impact
• Speculums A medical tool designed to hold open a body cavity. In kink, it's used (primarily anally for men) for "medical play," inspection scenes, or to allow… Gear & Wearables
• Spitting Used symbolically or as a form of humiliation/marking. Can be ritualistic or primal. Sensation
• Spreader Bars A piece of BDSM gear, typically a rigid bar with cuffs at each end, used to hold a partner's arms or (more commonly) legs open and apart. This create… Gear & Wearables
• Staged corruption Scenes where innocence or 'normalcy' is gradually dismantled — eroticizing transformation. Roleplay
• STDs Sexually Transmitted Diseases. The older, more stigmatizing term for STIs. The language has shifted to 'infections' because many are treatable or man… Health & Safety
• STIs Sexually Transmitted Infections. The modern, more accurate term for infections passed through sexual contact. Regular testing for STIs is a basic par… Health & Safety
• Straight / Heterosexual Describes attraction to a different gender, typically within the male/female binary. It is often the default setting society pushes on everyone. Identity & Community
• Strap-on (Pegging) A dildo attached to a harness, allowing a partner to penetrate another anally. When a man is penetrated by a partner using a strap-on, it is commonly… Gear & Wearables
• Strawberry Slang for a vanilla person curious about kink. Sweet, open, and ready to explore new territory. Kink & BDSM
• Sub-leaning Switch A Switch who usually prefers to be controlled but can also take charge when the mood strikes. Kink & BDSM
• Submission under protest Pretending reluctance or resistance while truly consenting. Often involves power inversion. Roleplay
• Submissive Submission is not passive—it’s selective devotion. They yield where trust feels earned, finding calm in being led. Power
• Submissive The person who consensually gives up power to a Dominant. This is an active role of trust and surrender, not weakness. The submissive holds ultimate… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Subspace A common term for a "trance-like" or altered state of consciousness that a submissive (or even a Dominant) may enter during an intense BDSM scene. It… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Successive adoption Where a same-sex partner is allowed to adopt their partner’s adopted child. Legal & Rights
• Suction Using suction cups or vacuums on the skin for sensation, swelling, or aesthetic effect. Sensation
• Surrogacy An arrangement in which a woman carries and delivers a child for another person or couple. Legal & Rights
• Suspension An advanced formof bondage (usually rope) where a person is fully or partially lifted off the floor. This is a high-trust, high-skill activity. Extreme & Edge Play
• Suspension bondage Rope or device-based bondage where body is partially or fully suspended. Requires training and safety. Bondage
• Swallowing (Cum) The act of swallowing semen at the end of oral sex. This is a common personal preference or fetish. Like any act involving bodily fluids, it requires… Sex & Anatomy
• Sweat (Fetish) A fetish focused on sweat, often tied to exertion, masculinity, or primal scent. This can involve licking, smelling, or worshipping a sweaty body. Fetish & Focus
• Swinging A form of ethical non-monogamy where couples "swap" partners or engage in group sex with other couples or individuals, often at specific parties or e… Relationships & Intimacy
• Switch Switches adapt intuitively—dom one moment, sub the next—reading partners and moods like weather. Power
• Switch A person who can comfortably and enjoyably "switch" between the roles of Dominant and Submissive, depending on their partner, mood, or the specific s… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Switching Alternating between dominant and submissive roles. Some switch scene-to-scene, others mid-play. Role identity

T37 terms

• Tactile fetish Arousal from specific textures or materials — silk, fur, latex, metal, etc. Sensation
• Tamer A Dominant who takes delight in taming a brat or wild submissive through patience, play, and power. Kink & BDSM
• TBD To Be Determined. The non-committal answer to any logistical question. It's the verbal equivalent of a shrug emoji, often used when plans are still u… Slang & Culture
• Tears (Crying in Play) Crying during a scene is a common and complex response. It can be "play tears" (from intense sensation or emotion) or "real tears" (distress). It's v… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Temperature play Play with hot or cold — ice, wax, warm tools. Stimulates nerve endings and emotional response. Sensation
• TENS Unit A TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) unit is a medical device co-opted for kink. It sends mild electrical pulses through sticky pads… Gear & Wearables
• TGNC Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming. An inclusive umbrella term that covers both transgender people and anyone else who doesn't conform to traditio… Identity & Community
• Therian Someone who identifies spiritually or psychologically as a non-human animal. It can overlap with but extends beyond roleplay. Kink & BDSM
• Thrall A poetic, old-fashioned word for a slave — evoking the feeling of being utterly captivated and bound to one’s Dominant. Ideal for lovers of historica… Kink & BDSM
• Throat Fucking This is an advanced form of oral sex ("deep-throating") where a partner's penis reaches the back of the throat. It's an intense sensation that can tr… Extreme & Edge Play
• Ticklee A person who enjoys being tickled for pleasure, laughter, or surrender. Kink & BDSM
• Tickler A person who enjoys tickling others for erotic or playful stimulation. Kink & BDSM
• Tickling A form of playful "torture" or sensation play. When used in a BDSM context with restraints, it can be an incredibly intense and psychological experie… Practices & Activities
• Time limits Erotic use of timers — deadlines for tasks, punishments, or endurance challenges. Control
• TL;DR Too Long; Didn't Read. The internet's way of asking for a summary. It's what you put at the end of a long post to give people the gist, or what you c… Slang & Culture
• Toilet Play (Scat) A fetish involving urine ("piss play") and/or feces ("scat"). This can range from "golden showers" to more extreme "human toilet" scenarios. It is a… Extreme & Edge Play
• Top The giving or penetrative partner in a sexual scene. Top refers to the active role, focused on providing sensation or stimulation. Kink & BDSM
• Torture roleplay Simulating interrogation, punishment, or forced submission. High trust, high-intensity play. Roleplay
• Total Power Exchange (TPE) Also known as TPE. This is the most "all-in" form of a D/s dynamic, where the submissive partner consensually gives authority over most or all aspect… Core Dynamics & Roles
• Toys (anal) Use of anal plugs, beads, or dildos for stimulation, training, or control. Vast range of types. Sexual
• Toys (genital) Devices used to stimulate or control the genitals — cages, vibrators, pumps, etc. Sexual
• Toys (insertables) Dildos, plugs, or other objects designed for penetration. Vary in size, shape, material, and symbolism. Penetration
• Toys (remote control) Insertable or wearable toys controlled by a partner — used for public scenes or distance play. Power exchange
• Trainer A Dominant who enjoys shaping their submissive’s behavior through structure, praise, and repetition. Kink & BDSM
• Trampling Walking or standing on a partner's body. Combines domination, impact, and sometimes humiliation. Body play
• Trans Umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from sex assigned at birth. May include transsexual, transgender, cross-dres… Identity
• Transgender Term for people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from sex assigned at birth; often used broadly, overlapping with “trans.” Identity
• Transition Social and/or medical steps to live in one’s identified gender (e.g., coming out, name/legal changes, clothing/presentation, hormones, surgeries). Tr… Medical & Health
• Transition-Related Healthcare (TRHC) Medical interventions (e.g., hormones, surgeries) to align a person’s body with their gendered self-perception. Replaces older terms like GRS/GAS in… Medical & Health
• Transphobia Negative cultural and personal beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours based on prejudice, disgust, fear, and/or hatred of trans people or gender diversit… Bias & Phobia
• Transvestism (Cross-Dressing) An older, sometimes clinical term for "cross-dressing." In a kink context, it can be a fetish itself or part of a "feminization" or "gender play" sce… Practices & Activities
• TS Transsexual. An older, more clinical term for a transgender person, particularly one who has undergone or desires to undergo medical transition. Many… Identity & Community
• TT Tit Torture. A form of BDSM play focused on the nipples. This can involve clamps, clothespins, biting, or twisting. It's an intense form of sensation… Kink & BDSM
• TW Trigger Warning. A heads-up that the content that follows might be distressing, particularly for people with trauma. It's a common courtesy online to… Slang & Culture
• Twink A young or young-looking, slender, and smooth gay man—often a distinct tribe within queer and kink culture. Kink & BDSM
• Twink Youthful, slim, and smooth. Twinks bring flirty confidence and bright energy to the scene. Identity & Community
• Twunk A blend of twink charm and gym-built confidence. Youthful but with muscle to spare. Identity & Community

U6 terms

• U=U Undetectable = Untransmittable. The revolutionary, scientifically-proven fact that a person with HIV who is on effective treatment and has an undetec… Health & Safety
• Undecided Someone still figuring out their place in kink or dynamics—open but undefined. Kink & BDSM
• Underwear (Fetish) A fetish centered on underwear. This can be a visual attraction to the style (like jockstraps, briefs, or panties) or involve a scent component (like… Fetish & Focus
• Underwear control Regulating what underwear is worn or if any is allowed. Blends intimacy and rule-based play. Power exchange
• Uniforms A fetish centered on specific uniforms, such as military, police, or work attire. It often ties into roleplay fantasies involving authority, service,… Gear & Wearables
• Urethral Fucking An extreme and high-risk form of "sounding." This involves inserting objects into the urethra for pleasure, often using items larger than standard so… Extreme & Edge Play

V15 terms

• Vacuum Bed An advanced piece of BDSM furniture made of latex. The user is sealed inside, and a vacuum pump removes the air, encasing the person tightly. It's an… Extreme & Edge Play
• Vacuum Pumping Using a manual or electric pump to create a vacuum seal on a body part, most commonly the penis, balls, or nipples. This draws blood to the area, inc… Practices & Activities
• Vanilla Vanillas center emotional connection, sensual touch, and romantic rhythm. Relational
• Verbal degradation Using harsh or humiliating language consensually — can lower status or heighten power imbalance. Power exchange
• Verbal humiliation Degrading or shaming language used consensually to trigger arousal or emotional intensity. Psychological
• Verbal Play A broad category of play that uses words to create a dynamic. This includes "dirty talk," giving commands ("Yes, Sir"), verbal humiliation, or offeri… Practices & Activities
• VERS Versatile. The holy grail of the gay dating pool. A Vers guy is comfortable being either a Top or a Bottom, and sometimes even switching within the s… Sex & Relationships
• Versatile Someone who enjoys both topping and bottoming, switching naturally between roles depending on the partner or moment. Kink & BDSM
• VGL Very Good Looking. A classic personal ad abbreviation. It's a subjective but direct way of stating your perceived level of attractiveness or what you… Sex & Relationships
• Victimisation Discrimination suffered because a person made a complaint or was a witness in another’s complaint. Bias & Phobia
• Vintage Porn An appreciation for the aesthetic, style, or content of pornography from previous decades (e.g., 1970s or 80s), often valued for its "raw" or "authen… Fetish & Focus
• Violet Wand A specific "e-stim" toy that uses a glass wand to conduct a high-voltage, low-amperage current. It creates a "zapping" or "stinging" sensation on the… Gear & Wearables
• Voice control Modulating speech, commands, or silence as erotic control. Can include tone-based training. Power exchange
• Voyeur Voyeurs crave the distance between watcher and scene. They notice what others miss—the tremor, the breath, the pause. Psychological
• Voyeurism Deriving arousal from consensually watching others. This is the "watching" counterpart to exhibitionism and is a common part of group sex or play par… Practices & Activities

W12 terms

• WAP Wet-Ass Pussy. A term from a Cardi B song that has been enthusiastically adopted by the queer community. While its origins are heterosexual, its cele… Slang & Culture
• Wartenberg Pinwheels A medical device with a rotating wheel of sharp (but not cutting) pins. When rolled across the skin, it creates an intense, "prickly" sensation. It i… Gear & Wearables
• Wax (Play) A form of temperature and sensation play using melted wax from special, low-temperature candles. This creates a mix of heat and light stinging sensat… Practices & Activities
• Wax Play A form of temperature and sensation play using melted wax from special, low-temperature candles (never use regular candles). The sensation is a mix o… Practices & Activities
• Whipping A broad term for impact play using a whip. This can range from "floggers" (many soft tails, creates a "thuddy" sensation) to "single tail" whips (one… Practices & Activities
• Wolf Athletic, rugged, and a little wild. Wolves exude confident dominance and primal allure. Identity & Community
• Worship Focused attention, admiration, or reverence to a body part, object, or person — feet, boots, muscles, etc. Psychological
• Worshipper A submissive who finds erotic charge in worshiping their Dominant, often through ritualized gestures of praise or service. Kink & BDSM
• Wrestling / Primal Play A form of "primal" play that uses grappling, holds, and physical dominance. It's a way to engage in a power struggle, often ending with one partner "… Practices & Activities
• Wrestling kink Physical struggle used as erotic foreplay — mixes dominance, tension, and physical contact. Body play
• Writing on body Using markers, lipstick, or other tools to inscribe words or symbols on the body. Can be humiliating, possessive, or ritualistic. Body play
• WS Water Sports. A kink involving urine. This can be anything from urinating on a partner (Golden Shower) to drinking it. It's a common fetish that play… Kink & BDsm

Y1 term

• YO Years Old. A simple abbreviation for age, often seen in ASL exchanges or on profiles. Slang & Culture

Z1 term

• Zentai Full-body suits that cover the entire figure in stretchy fabric. Emphasizes anonymity, objectification, or sensory deprivation. Encasement